You see, Ive been holed up my whole life,
Ive thought Fuck it, I dont need me a wife,
Turns out, I enjoy the company of the opposite sex,
I just didnt think itd be this damned complex.
What the fuck do I do, how do I do it right,
What am I going to think at the end of tonight?
The girl Im going with, shes actually quite hot,
But seeing her like this puts my gut in a knot.
But how do I really tell her what Im thinking,
I can feel my guts, my courage shrinking.
Great, now I feel some stimulant in my pants,
How the fuck am I gonna learn how to dance?
Oh, shit
This is what I get for living my life a loner,
I cant help but develop a goddamn boner,
I try to stop it, to make myself halt,
If they say anything Ill reply, Its your damned fault.
Either they didnt notice or they didnt care,
I cant help but disengage from the pair.
Some might think my problem is quaint,
Others will think, whats my complaint?
Problem is, I have a code of respect,
For that, does anyone object?
I dont believe in the one night stand,
God damn, I wish could control those glands.
I take a risk, thinking I could take it slow,
But she grabs on and wont let me go.
Oh, shit
This is what I get for living my life a loner,
I cant help but develop a goddamn boner,
I try to stop it, to make myself halt,
If they say anything Ill reply, Its your damned fault.
I cant help but want to feel her thigh,
But I dont know what that may imply.
I dont want to be too forward, too ambitious,
Nor do I want to come off as malicious.
So now, were headed home, and I failed, yet again,
Such is the plight of the passive-aggressive men,
So now, after Ive said my goodbye,
I turn around and let out a sigh.
Oh, shit
This is what I get for living my life a loner,
I cant help but develop a goddamn boner,
I try to stop it, to make myself halt,
If they say anything Ill reply, Its your damned fault.
So now, this tale is pretty much done,
Although my plight has barely begun.
So now Im just asking, it got this far,
This question really isnt bizarre.
Why the fuck did I write this?
But wait, did you really write this?
Now I just need to find some old 80's rock music...
Good luck on finding the right music then!
And they thought it was a little bit creepy too...